3rd and Final

Someone once said, "Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results." If you're anything like me, you're impatient for those results. You want them here and you want them now. Going throughout my life I have learned patience. I have learned that great things come to you when you wait patiently and when you least expect them. 

Growing up I was always hard on myself. I wanted to be the "perfect" girl that every guy wanted to date or be around, but I wasn't. I wanted that "perfect" body that attracted every guy, but I didn't have it. I wanted the "perfect" clothes that were expensive and in style, but I didn't have them. But one day that all changed. My negative thoughts turned to positive thoughts, and my life started to turn around. I moved on to better things and worked hard at what I wanted. I met the most perfect guy who thought I was a "perfect" girl. He loved everything about me, and we were constantly together. We loved to spend every moment together laughing, dancing, singing, and making memories that we will cherish forever. Dusty was my positive result. My perfect mate. The love of my life. 

My negative thoughts started again in 2011 when I got sick and nothing was helping me feel better. I had so many medications I was taking, and so many doctor visits, and I was tired and losing hope. Here it is a year and a half later and I still battle nausea everyday, but my pessimistic attitude is slowly turning optimistic. 

I know every girl's dream is to become a mother of her own children. That dream of raising a baby, and giving them unconditional love. That dream of finding out the news you've always waited for. That dream of feeling that little person grow inside you and feel them move. That dream of a growing family, and hearing that first cry. That dream of being a mother and father and working as a team to raise this beautiful child that God has blessed you with. But for us, that time is not now. Our 3rd and final insemination...failed!